Dec. 8, 1999

Film at 11

Surgeons Condemn Penis Enlargement Prize

Updated 8:34 AM ET December 7, 1999

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Australian doctors have condemned a golf tournament sponsor offering a penis enlargement for the longest drive.

longest drive = longest penis?

Health authorities have also hit out at the organizers after they offered a breast enhancement to the champion woman player.

Those requiring reductions need not apply.

Already more than 120 people have entered the tournament at Queensland's Sanctuary Cove which is being organized by cosmetic surgery firm Clinical Beauty.

Maybe it's me but if I needed a penis enlargement procedure (unlikely, since I'm female) I'd be embarrassed to publicly announce same by entering this tournament. Plus, publicly announce that I'd even consider having some doctor touch that private part with anything sharp, ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Queensland government ministers have already instructed the State's Office of Gaming Regulation to add cosmetic surgery procedures to the list of banned prizes for lotteries, raffles and trade promotions.

I'd like to see the rest of that list! A one-way ticket to the South Pole perhaps? (second prize - TWO tickets!) A case of cyanide caplets? A refreshing dip in the shark pool at the zoo..

A spokeswoman for the cosmetic surgery company denied suggestions the tournament was trivializing medical procedures.

Will she say that after they botch her breast enlargement procedure that she won on the Game Show, "Who Wants to be Surgically Altered?"

And in a similar vein (sort of):

Nude bike ride found in breach of broadcast standards

OTTAWA (CP) - A Winnipeg radio contest that had a woman ride a bicycle in the nude on a busy downtown street was in breach of broadcast standards, says an industry regulatory body. In the contest promoted by CJKR-FM last March, an 18-year-old woman rode a bike in the nude during rush hour in the centre of Winnipeg for a chance to win $10,000.

What no surgery? Not even a tattoo or a body piercing? Surely a new bike seat pad..

The stunt breached the Canadian Association of Broadcasters' code of ethics "on the grounds of public disturbance or inconvenience," the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council ruled Tuesday.

Inconvenience? Only if it was a boy's bike.

Today's Bowling scores: 179 146 155, total = 480. Wooo HOOOOO ME!!
Last year's average: 132
This year's average: 121. Finally broke 120 and the season's not even half over, grrrrr.

Bowling is such a strange and frustrating sport.

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