October 12, 2003

Thanksgiving V

Someone mentioned to me that I only seem to write for special events lately.
Maybe so. But these events DO get me to write and that has to be good.
I'd like to get back to the entry-every-two-or-three-days stage but I'd be satisfied with one a week in reality.
The time off has given me a chance to build up some new ideas so maybe it's coming.

The most important thing for me to keep in mind (and the most difficult) is that I do this for me.
The evil voices in my head like to tell me that the world will get along just fine without my yappings - and this is true much as I hate to admit it - but I am better off for having this journal as a resource if nothing else.
Whether I write five, six, or ten entries about depression or about Rob's band or whatever, I will eventually appreciate having them to look back on, as I do now about all the entries from the past four years.

Even the above paragraph (ESPECIALLY the above paragraph) is for me, at some future time. So why is it online as opposed to in a battered up coffee-stained notepad hidden under a stack of old magazines?

It just is.

Besides, I'd forget where I put it, like everything else.

Now that that's out of the way, I have to do my yearly Thanksgiving entry.
Yes, HAVE to.
I want to have one to read through next year, along with the four others.
It's becoming the equivalent of a New Year inventory thing. And it IS in the same season as the Jewish New Year, and the start of the new school year, and the time of year when I tend to look outward.

Having an annual list of gratitudes (which keep shifting over time, necessarily) provides perspective and we can never have enough of that.

Last year's list consisted of my health, my kids, my friends, and this journal.
The framework is the same now but some of the specifics have changed, particularly in the "friends" category.
I've dwelt on the negatives long enough; this is Thanksgiving Day, not Regrets Day.
I am thankful for old friends whom I love and cherish; new friends who intrigue me; and new-old friends who are a bit of both.

I want to make one very important addition to the list this year:

I am thankful for me.

So often people are their own harshest critics even when they have the capability of being their own best friends.
There is no shortage of critics in the world but friends who know us intimately and know what we need and how to comfort us are rare.
Everyone could have one more of those if they'd only allow it.

I guess I'm thankful for my soapbox, too.

Linque Du Jour:   Bonsai Potato
If you need another reason to be thankful for the web.

Looking Back: Previous Thanksgiving Entries
Thanksgiving I (1999)

Thanksgiving II (2000)

Thanksgiving III (2001)

Thanksgiving IV (2002)

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