July 2, 2003

Anniversary Again

Inertia.

I named the journal well.

I could have named it procrastination, too. That's been my theme this month.
But today I HAD to write.
Today is the fourth anniversary of this website.

I wrote anniversary entries (linked below) in 2000 and 2001; the earlier one rings truer today for some reason.

So I won't bother to repeat myself but just babble aimlessly for awhile.

I really just have not felt like writing for the past month or so.
Entries would start themselves in my head but never make it onto the keyboard.
I haven't needed to write but neither have I wanted to make the effort to do so.
Inertia, yes.

And I've kept to my hermit ways pretty faithfully too.
I'm not agoraphobic - I don't panic at the thought of going out and I do go out - when I have to.
I am just not motivated to go out very often.

I hate shopping.
It's too hot, too humid, too smoggy or too windy.
Something about being outdoors is unsettling.
If there's a roof over my head (be it my home or any building) then I'm in control.
If I am outside under the sky with grass and trees and beauty - I might feel too much.
I really need to not feel too much.

Yet indoors I'm reasonably content. Books, computer, news and sports on TV all happily distract me.
This week I'm a Wimbledon junkie.
I look at the faces of the competitors (regardless of which sport, really) and try to fathom what kind of drive compels them to put in the time, money, and of course pain required to compete at the professional level.
The financial rewards are one reason - but only a very few of those who try will actually succeed.

I wish I had some of that drive.
Or perhaps I do... if only I would choose a goal.


Linque Du Jour:   Floral Art Sites
Some natural beauty that managed to make it indoors.
I found these separately but they do seem to go together.

FLOWERS by Katinka Matson:
Floral images created by..
an ordinary office scanner!

Innervisions:
Floral radiographs. Yes, x-rays.



Looking Back
Very approximately...

One year ago:
This Otter Get Your Goat

Two years ago:
Anniversary

Three years ago:
One Year

Four years ago!!:
Online Journal - the very first entry.



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