December 31, 2002

Resolutions Revisited

Two hours to go for 2002 in my time zone.

Time to get one last entry up for the year.

I'd rather sleep. A day at work still knocks me right out.
But the house is quiet and if I put it off it may not get done.

Last year I made a half-hearted attempt at formulating some resolutions.

Let's see how I did:

Lose weight, by hoping that the metabolism fairy will bless me this year.

Nope. I didn't gain significant weight either so that's good I suppose...

Get my roots coloured when they need it, not three weeks after they need it.

Nope. Still stretching it out.

Finish that roll of film that's been in my camera since October.

Done but it's been replaced by another, in since last MAY I think, with only a few shots taken.

Get it developed.

Ditto.

Send out the CDs that I burned for Mr. WLA.

I can't even remember if I did that.

Ask Rick to let me see his music list again because he's sent me stuff twice and I want to reciprocate.

Uh-oh...
He sent me the list but I lost it again.
I never used to be so careless with friends. This is not good.

Finish the entry page redesign that I intended to do for 2001.

Done and the 2003 version is ready to go too!

Update.
More.
Often.

Sigh...

Strangely enough, I did better with my New Year's WISHES than my resolutions.

Health and success (on their own terms) for my children.

So far so good (insert here your favourite charm to ward off the evil eye)

No more death. (Yeah, I know but there was no rule about being realistic.)

Nobody close to me, anyway!

A slow news year.

Well. It was a bit slower than 2001, maybe.

The courage to actually formulate a life plan or two.

Yes! My job and a vision of where I want to go.

The discipline to follow them.

In progress.

And just about each and every day something happens (or fails to happen) that reassures me that I did the right thing in pronouncing my marriage unsalvageable.

For instance, tonight, New Year's Eve, the kids are out partying and the Housemate and I are home.
I passed by his (formerly our) room at 9:30 PM and the door was closed, just as it was last New Year's Eve.
And every other night, but this is early, even for him.

He was in bed, watching TV.
I went in and asked him if he was sleeping at 9:30 and he said no but he will fall asleep eventually.
Pardon my language but there is no other word for him but fucking asshole.
To think I spent over twenty years fighting for this marriage and now he can't even be bothered to try.

This sort of thing used to hurt. A lot. Now all that's bruised is my ego, and that has taken its share of beatings and is far less delicate than it used to be.
The problem with trying to control someone by tearing them down is, one way or another you lose them.
Either they wear away to nothing, or they develop a protective shell, regenerate themselves within, and come to realize who the true loser really is.

Well that was a nice tangent.

Before I give up on trying to stay awake, I should come up with some new resolutions for 2003.

Then again since I did so poorly in 2002, I'll just try again with the old ones!


Linque Du Jour:   Google Zeitgeist
I've linked it before but it's still cool, especially at New Year's.



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