November 19, 2002
The final word(s) on last Sunday's wedding:
Nice, lovely and tasteful.
The custom these days is for the members of the head table (immediate family) to give speeches, recite homemade verse, sing homemade songs and perform comedy routines complete with props.
While I don't object to being entertained in that fashion, I'm glad it wasn't done when I got married.
It just isn't me.
And for anyone who may be in the position to participate in this kind of extravaganza, I have some advice.
Remember there are two sides to every family.
Don't say how much you wish your late mother could be there without saying the same of your late mother-in-law.
Don't express regret that your new son-in-law never got to know your late husband, when you've never introduced him to that husband's two brothers.
And don't pass over your late husband's family when it comes to the honour of inviting people to say various blessings in the course of the prayer service. How moving it might have been to have the Bride's uncles participate where her father could not.
When his eldest brother was dying four years ago, then-Hubby (now Housemate) was with him every day. He felt a part of the Matriarch's very close family too. Unfortunately they have no room for anyone else in their world.
Sometimes I wonder what the sons-in-law, both the new one and the one who has been around awhile, make of it. If they look at their wedding album, there is no sign that the Brides have any paternal family. Yet we get to watch as others happily pose for group shots.
If they feel that way about us, why invite us at all?
Disclaimer: It might sound strange for me to be indignant on behalf of the Housemate since I want out of this marriage but I do feel sorry for him and his brother. Even though they didn't seem nearly as bothered by it all as I was.
It's just wrong, and insulting to my family unit. My kids both had other more pleasurable things to do that evening, and made the effort to attend (arms firmly twisted behind their backs) for the sake of "family".
One of these days I'll get around to writing about my job.
The people are friendly, cooperative and generally just marvelous.
I am very very lucky.
Only in Toronto...
One year ago:
Two years ago:
A Piece of Fluff*
Three years ago:
* The amazing Dryer Lint entry is two years old! This thing gets linked in all the weird sites and is probably my most-read entry.
All that angst and what do they go for?
Graphics courtesy of