November 29, 2001

Freezing Cold

7:30 PM:

I just came in from the back balcony, where I stepped out in the dark with my house slippers on, into a couple of inches of snow and ice.
The reason I did that was to take pictures.
In view of the fact that I'm the World's Worst Photographer, the pictures probably won't come out so I'll describe this as best I can:

My neighbours out back have a lilac tree beside their house, close to the property line between our lots.
Every year they string Christmas lights on it and I thoroughly enjoy that view from my kitchen window.
The bulbs are all white, and are the small ones that seem to give off a more intense light; I would get that kind if I decorated.
Today we had the first real snowfall of the season, only a couple of inches, but followed by freezing rain.
Much as this city (actually the entire northeast) cringes at the mere mention of freezing rain because of the monumental ice storm almost four years ago, the ice still creates a beautiful scene. The lilac tree's branches are covered with icicles, a shimmering, fragile coat over even the smallest twig.
Combined with the lights, the effect is magical. It's what tinsel wants to be when it grows up.

So I tried to capture it.

I still don't have a digital camera so the results remain to be seen. (Literally, ha.)

This is late for the first measurable snowfall; I don't have the statistics but it is. Since I've been keeping this journal, I noted first snowfalls on Nov. 12, 1999 and Oct. 29, 2000.
I remember several blizzards in November and even a few in October. My seventeen year old son Rob has a theory: he thinks that the seasons are shifting forward. He might be onto something, now that I think of it.

10 PM:

The above was interrupted by Housemate (previously known as Hubby) and Rob wandering into the kitchen.

H: Were you out on the balcony?
Me: Yeah.
H: Why?
Me: (Pointing to the window) Look! The lights on the tree and the ice, I wanted to take a picture.
H: (Looks) It's not going to come out.

He's probably right.
I said as much myself, above.
But why does he have to throw cold water on my enthusiasm?
This is the man who claims to want "one more chance".
I wonder if he realizes that it's what he does that has pushed me away.
He is quick to speak to criticize and find fault; praise is foreign to him.
I have asked for nothing more than equal time; he can't or won't give it.
He shows no interest in what I do or what I like.
I have to wonder why he even wants to continue the "marriage".
I have to wonder why an otherwise reasonably intelligent man is so dense.
I have to wonder why it even still hurts when he does this.

Linque du Jour:   Seeking the Alien Shore, entry for Nov. 28, 2001

Aw, Rick, you beat me to it!

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