September 27, 2001

Complications


Life is what happens to you
While you're busy
Making other plans
                - John Lennon


You'd think world-shaking history and the beginning of the end of a 25 year marriage would be enough excitement for two weeks, but nooooooo.

Last Sunday the phone rang.

It was one of THOSE calls.

This time, concerning Hubby's sister who had just been hospitalized, critically ill.

He is not close with his sister; nobody is, really. She has managed, at one time or another, to alienate her entire extended family, not only from herself but from each other.

When her son and his family visit Montreal they stay with us, not her, even though I'm very high on her shit list these last ten years or so.

What did I do? Absolutely nothing.
Hubby did something that offended her - he returned a gift she had given to our kids for Hanukah because he was angry at her.
She decided that her brother could never do such a thing so it must have been my influence.

We only found this out years later; we knew she was angry at us but we didn't know why.

I have heard her cursing other family members that she was angry with and shudder to think that she spoke about me like that. I did hear from some pretty reliable sources that she used the b* word in regard to me.

I don't take it personally; but it does feel creepy to have someone hold that kind of animosity towards me. Sort of like bad karma.

Anyway, being as she is, she lived alone, and recently became ill due to complications of diabetes. She had surgery on Sunday afternoon, and when she failed to become alert by the next day, more tests showed that she also had suffered a stroke. The prognosis is uncertain, at best.

Her son from upstate NY, who doesn't see her when he comes to town, dropped everything and drove up that day. He's been sleeping in our basement.

His wife and three year old arrived today. They all plan to remain here until Sunday unless "something happens".

They've stayed with us before, as recently as a few weeks ago; but the household circumstances are a bit different now.

We haven't told them. I think they have enough to deal with.
It was my choice to allow them to stay and to try to make things as smooth as possible. I really do care for them and hope to not lose them with the eventual break-up.

So we're pretending that things are normal - kind of like I've been doing for the past twenty years or so.

I moved back into the bedroom temporarily but that's merely a formality - we have a king size bed and the middle of it has been untouched by either of us for many months.

I've also been informed that due to the circumstances, my impending birthday will not be celebrated (by Hubby) because he can't deal with it.

That's fair enough - I used that excuse in regard to our 25th wedding anniversary which fell less than a month after my father's death.

However he went on to say that in case of any reconciliation, I was not to throw it up in his face that he ignored my fiftieth birthday.
I told him not to worry.

In a way, I figure it's a fair trade. Forego a few trinkets but get my life back, and the sooner the better.

Previous Entry
Next Entry
Home
Archives
Sign the Guestmap!
Message Board / Forum
E-Mail
Join the Notify List

Graphics courtesy of             Bimsan Free Web Graphics