I think I'm in over my head.
And it's Alvin's fault.
This started on Monday, when he did something I can't resist.
Posted a contest.
With actual PRIZES: to quote:
...the one that gets all 13 questions right will win a WLA autographed T-shirt… one size fits all and the runner up will receive an 8 X 10 glossy of Bugoti eating.
Frankly, I think I'd prefer the second prize, mainly to find out whether a photo of a 23 pound cat eating would fit on an 8 x 10 glossy.
The problem here is, the subject of the quiz.
I can sum up all I know about Pee-Wee Herman in one word:
I'm sorry, I think he's a sleazebag.
And it's not just because of the unfortunate episode in the theater.
He gave me the creeps well before that.
If his act was limited to performances in adult clubs or pay TV, fine, well, it's not my taste but to each his own.
But he had a children's show.
I never actually WATCHED his show but maybe walked in the room once or twice while someone was flipping through channels and passed it by.
Thus, I consider myself adequately knowledgeable to form an opinion.
My kids didn't watch it either (that I know of). They were either too young, too old, or too discriminating. Or all three.
They were definitely too old for Barney, and for that I will be eternally grateful.
And now Pee-wee is hosting some new quiz show, trying to restore his image by looking like a Beatle.
Much as I love that haircut (imprinted on it at age 12) it doesn't work for him.
He is still sleazy.
The title of his latest movie says it all.
Nevertheless, I considered it a challenge to find the answers to this bunch of obscure trivialities.
I'd like to say I had nothing better to do but the state of my house says otherwise.
So, I hereby present my official contest entry form, to be
witnessed by the entire world as well as the alternate universe known as cyberspace.
Note: These are the answers I found online. They are not necessarily correct and I take no responsibility for any consequences that may occur due to my misinforming you-all.
1. True or false: After Paul Reubens was caught chokin’ the chicken in a XXX rated movie theater in 1991, the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce responded by removing Pee-wee’s star from the walk of fame.
Much as I feel he had no business having a star in the first place, it still seems rather tacky and anal-retentive to take it away. He's certainly not the only celebrity to be caught with his pants unzipped.. in public...
2. What song did Pee-wee dance to in a biker bar in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure?
That must have been a sight; however, I'll pass...
3. In Pee-wee’s Playhouse what kind of accent did Globbey have?
This was rather difficult to find since most web pages spelled it "Globey". I think I should get extra points here.
4.. In what film did Reubens play a waiter?
(Like Chicken Man - "He's everywhere he's everywhere!")
5. Who played Cowboy Curtis on the Playhouse?
6. Where was Paul Reubens born and what is his sign?
Peekskill NY, 8/27/52 which makes him a Virgo.
Why am I not surprised...
7. Recent Oscar winner Benicio Del Toro made his film debut in Big Top Pee-wee. What character did he play?
Duke the Dog-Faced Boy
8 In 1991 the HBO special The Pee-wee Herman show what ingenious devise helps Peewee and his pal Hammy look up the dress of Hamm’s sister?
No wonder he was a virgo!
9. Name the slutty-looking star of American Pie who, when she was younger appeared on Pee-wee’s Playhouse as Opal.
10. Reubens supplied the voice for what animal in the 1998 Eddie Murphy flick Dr. Dolittle?
No comment except to say that this was the easiest question - just hopped aboard imdb.com.
11. What’s Ruebens’ birth name?
a nice Jewish boy...
12. Ruebens' plead "no contest to his 1998 indecent exposure charge. How did the court punish him?
He could have had a hooker (of either gender) for that?
And for the Pee-wee bonus point…
What was the name of Pee-wee’s pet dog name in Big Top Pee-wee?
Again, any accuracy in these answers is merely coincidental.
Now in the two days since he
pilfered I mean published this quiz, which originated in a magazine that I'm too lazy to type out the name of but which you'll find in Alvin's entry, Alvin has been having little hissy fits because either no Americans have entered his contest OR no Americans have entered his contest correctly (I'm not sure which).
To which I reply:
Borders are so arbitrary.
Linque Du Jour:   Pak 4 U
It can never be said I'm not constantly looking out for stray urls...
Noticed this one on a bag of spinach.
Yes, I buy spinach. So?
This is what happens when you don't get professionals to design, write, and translate your business site.