August 10, 2000

Tests


Once you get to be a certain age, it sometimes seems like all you do is go to doctors and have tests.

Today I had an appointment for a routine mammogram.

It wasn't my first so I knew what to expect.

The test is done at a popular radiology lab about a half hour from my home. The last time I was there they did mammography on a walk-in basis and the minimum wait was two hours. I went prepared with books and magazines and the expectation of spending some time there. Now they've switched to appointments and the process is much more humane.

Once you're clad from the waist up in nothing but a thin blue robe, someone calls you and has you follow her into the Room. The path to the Room inevitably leads past the doorway to the general waiting room, and another technician or miscellaneous person is blocking the way so you can't quickly prance past unnoticed.

Then they do the test which consists of four xrays, two on each side - if you're lucky and they don't have to re-do any. The positioning is crucial, and each pose takes about two or three minutes to set up (or seems to).

For more details,

Women,   click HERE.

Men,   click HERE.

I Want to be Two-Thirds-of-a-Millionaire!

The show is coming to Canada - sort of.

The Canadian network, CTV, is planning to tape exactly one episode, with Canadian contestants, Canadian questions, a Canadian host (authentic Canadian journalist Pamela Wallin) Canadian-money prizes, and a Canadian audience - in New York.

Of course I have to try out.

We're in the qualification period now. You're allowed one phone call a day, to try to answer five questions correctly. Once you've done that you're on to the next round in the elimination process. Phone calls are $2 (Canadian) and I've given myself a limit of $10.00 to try to qualify.

I think there is way too much emphasis on popular culture on this show. It doesn't measure intelligence (which I define more in problem-solving terms); it measures the amount of useless information clogging up your brain.

For instance, any chimpanzee might know where Britney Spears fits into a timeline of bimbo singers. I mean, the girl can't even spell her name properly. The name is B-R-I-T-T-A-N-Y, not Britney. Her kindergarten teacher should have shown her the error of her ways. Then again, she probably does it on purpose to appeal to the illiterate lowest common denominator who nevertheless know how to find their way to the record stores.

And isn't Tiffany a lamp?

Linque Du Jour:   The Fabulous Goat Cam!

Not just a normal goat cam, not at all! This site enables you to TALK to the goats! You type in your message and a "text-to-speech converter" relays it to them. How cool is that!

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