August 6, 2000


3 PM Friday:

We have a family get-together this evening - with my family (as opposed to Hubby's) for a change. Three of my five cousins, assorted spouses, one of their children with her two daughters, one aunt, and of course Dad and StepMom. And the four of us. The kids didn't protest too much.. only a grumble or two. At their age I would have thrown a hissy fit at the very least, and perhaps might even have refused to go.

The more I compare my kids with myself at their age, the more I realize what a mess I was. Dad doesn't remember it that way, thankfully; it probably had something to do with (or was caused by?) my conflicts with my mother. (I doubt I'll ever get into that here but it involved her controlling and overprotecting me.)

I didn't consider that family was important when I was young. I did adore my cousins, especially the female ones. They're all older than I am and had their own lives, and I expected to have my own, apart from family, when I grew up. It did turn out that way, but not for the better. As it stands now, I have contact with nobody from my mother's side; and the contact I have now with my cousins (all on Dad's side) is a vast improvement over how it was just a few months ago.

I credit some of the improvement to Dad's illness, and increased communication stemming from that. I also like to think that this journal had an effect, since I know that at least two cousins read it regularly.

Sunday noon:

The food was tolerable, the kids behaved, and the company couldn't have been better.

I should mention that of my five cousins, four live out of town, in New York, California, Toronto, and Calgary. They were all brought up here but moved away in adulthood for various reasons. I haven't been close to the fifth either, through no fault of his or his family's, and I intend to recify that.

The weirdest moment was when my New York cousin, who reads this, asked me, "So, Pauline, are you still thinking about going back to school?" It took me a moment to figure out how she might know that, since I haven't yet discussed it with anyone in person. Discussing it then, it felt like exposing a secret that wasn't quite ready to be told - not in an unpleasant, way, since I know I was among friends and supporters, but still surprising.

(The answer is, yes I'm thinking about it but I'm not ready to commit the time and energy required, yet. When I get this way, though, I know it'll happen.)

I needed some background information for the Coming to Canada site, (my late aunt's memoirs which I'm putting online) so after dinner I got Dad talking about the old days. He just lit up and enjoyed having an audience for his memories.

One Year Ago Today (give or take..)


I still find this one amusing. I really need to go there again and take pictures. I tried again to find an online presence, but only came up with an ad for their towing service; it has a nice pic of their truck so is worth checking out.

Linque Du Jour:   Josh Freed's Saturday Column (Montreal Gazette)

About those chickens..

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