May 8, 2000


Five days since my last update.. when that happens it means I can't think of anything worth writing about.. and when that happens it means I'm fighting depression. "Fighting" being the operative word.

"Fighting" can also apply to the voices in my head:

#1: HOW can you be depressed.. Daddy is home and coping and getting stronger and you don't have to sit in hospitals every single day and look for parking in snowbanks and worry about Stepmom.

#2: It's just a reaction, a kind of let-down from the crisis situation. You need some more rest. Take a nap.

#3: What if the prozac stops working one day? What if it gets too severe? Really, what if...

Hubby: Have you seen the price of gas?

Older Son: Maw, I need these pants for tomorrow..

Younger Son: Back in the kitchen where you belong, Mom..

Me: Going to drown out all of you with THE WALL. Ahhhhh.. I.. have become.. comfortably numb..

Speaking of THE WALL, my wonderful children got me the newly released live version (Is There Anybody Out There) for Mother's Day. These kids shop early.. they got each other's birthday presents out of the way months before the actual events. It must be a form of rebellion.. I'm the worst procrastinator. (Parenting tip: don't hide your flaws from your children. Wear them proudly, and your children will reject them.)

I've been picking up the threads of things I've neglected for the past two months.. my sons' lives, my bowling league (stats must be compiled NOW for the end of the season banquet), my house, and one of my favourite pastimes, watching for signs of spring. They mostly got by me this year but now I see small leaves on the trees, robins that have returned, kids on their bicycles in traffic; my neighbour's lilacs haven't bloomed yet but other smells of spring have arrived: thawing lawn mulch, eau de skunk, and the bouquet of burning meat on the barbecue. The inside of my car is already too hot; the windows need washing (car and house) and I really should replace that hubcap that fell off weeks ago.

On second thought, maybe I will take that nap..

The planetary alignment has come and gone without incident (that I'm aware of) and the doomsayers can come crawling out of their Y2K shelters now. (At least they got SOME use out of them.)

Unless of course the planets had something to do with the latest computer scourge/email virus attack. Perhaps the perpetrator was influenced by the gravitational pull upon his brain cells. That might also explain this chicken attack in California.

Linque Du Jour:

Not tonight, I have a headache..

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