March 7, 2000

Day 6

[For background please see the previous few entries.]

I'm absolutely exhausted but I'll try this and see how it goes..

The situation with my father and stepmother seems to have taken over my life. It's good that I have the time to spend at the hospital, good that I have no job or young children at home to worry about. My husband is peacefully taking up my slack, as I did for him when the situation was reversed, as it has been more than once. Still, I'm physically and emotionally drained, and feel a cold coming on as well. That's got to go.. I can't get sick now!

Dad seemed more tired today, and less talkative. He's been in hospital six days now, and might have to wait another nine for the operation. It's scheduled for next Thursday, the 16th, unless some operating room time opens up sooner. I'm hoping the insurance company and the hospital won't want to house Dad that long before surgery and put some pressure on to move it up. They also expect him to spend a week in hospital recovering afterwards.

I picked up Stepmom and took her to see Dad today because her daughters are still consulting with social workers about what services are available to her while Dad is in the hospital. She continues to insist that she's "perfectly capable" of staying by herself, yet she can't remember what room Dad is in, what exactly is wrong with him, she keeps offering him food even though he's strictly on clear fluids, and constantly repeats the same questions. Dad's patience with her is incredible, especially since he's not usually a tolerant person. I think I'm pretty patient with her too, but I'm not with her constantly as he has been.

I think though that there's going to be full-scale war between her and her three daughters. They want to hire someone to stay with her for twelve hours a day (overnight) after two of them go home to New Jersey next week, until Dad is discharged (could be another two weeks or more). She won't tolerate a stranger in her home, especially since she doesn't even want her own girls to be there. Dad is of course caught in the middle and it's a stress he sure doesn't need right now. I can't imagine how this is to be settled in a manner that we all can live with.

Right now, a cold pill and a good night's sleep is about all I can live with!

No "Linque du Jour" today.. too tired, sorry.

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